The Starship Enterprise. The Starship Troopers. Kane Departs. Neal Maupay

The Starship Enterprise

Failed business adventures with retired footballers and the present day, even Sven-Goron Erikson enters the fray.

Nev the Rev, Gary Neville claims to working around the clock in lieu of one’s dog dinner, failed business projects on the Starship Enterprise. Neville admits to a debt overload, but the image can be more important, self lording rights, always looking to impress is an inner weak no secure link, the financial reality syndrome.

The former Liverpool front man Emille Hesky hit the headliners with a failed restaurant in Alderley Edge leafy Cheshire, if the chiefs no good, then that will close the deal, closure. Across the pond, no not the one in Alderley Edge, but the USA where another former red goalkeeper Brad Friedel hit the buffers. Brad for all his good intentions set up a football academy, billboarded “To nurture and promote footballing talent” in the birthed academy expertise is the requirement.

It soes not fall in the hands of the goalkeeping gloves. The academy was charging twenty thousand pounds a year, part of the downfall. The academy was wound up with a five million pounds debt incurred, a four year life span that slipped through the gloves.

Across the divide in Manchester with the burger headed Rooney and Rio Ferdinand invested money into a company which had committed a 25 million pounds tax fraud. Properties were to be built on the Roon, Ferd plots of land, the building work never materialised a big financial hit came the way of Rooney and Ferdinand. United’s former flashy Razz Taz Jessie Lingard launched the titled ‘JLINGZ’ clothes brand, but a reported 240,000 pounds loss hit the brand, chicken feed to Lingard but we can still raise the middle finger.

The big cardinal sinner on the sin road came with the Liverpool former Craig Bellamy whose road to financial ruin led to a South Walain building project which never materialised, all sucked into a pile of fake cement, Bellamy’s investment monies up front disappeared into a rouged building company with Cardiff City council jumping on board. A failed wine bar and steak house hit the buffers, what’s the beef? Bellamy had a further involvement with a tax deferral scheme which became of interest to HMRC. Bankruptcy was filed v Bellamy, link to article “Craig Bellamy” May 3rd 2023.

Two Swedes who became crushed turnips on the Starship Enterprise and on first entry Zlatan Ibrahimovic who made a staggering 18 million pounds loss over a 2 year period on the ‘A-Z’ clothing brand inspired by Zlatan’s journey, titled from the book form. No inspiration on this Starship Enterprise. Follow Swede Sven Gorna-Erikson hit the turnip route investing one’s trust in a Samir Khan who overviewed the Sven financial portfolio on a property building development scheme which never came to fruition, just the caked cement on the plots of land purchased with the coastline leading to more plots of land coming under the Sven banner near the Barbados golf club, another bunkered deal. Sven is known for his holes in one, watch the stilettos, but not on this occasion. Rumour has it that the plots of land have become chicken infested ‘cluck, cluck’, as for Sven’s trusted aid Khan, who amassed a 10 million pounds windfall on Erikson’s watch, never trust a Khan. Early doors Sven’s former girlfriend Nacy Dellolio tried to cook Sven’s turnips, the financial wares, Sven smelt the rat to become exit Sven, link to article dated October 4th 2022 ‘Exit Sven’ dodging the Nancy bullet, but not on the Starship Enterprise.

The End Game

Player’s careers at an end, managers being jettisoned around on the back of numerous sackings, former players striving to become coaches or to enter the black headed punditry zone following on from management failure recognition. Once the Kryton Baton is removed in sporting terms on the father time clock the feeling of mortality kicks in, to feel this force. Hefty bank balances and one’s own palaces to cushion the blows, a surrealness can kick in to become in part the disjointed to offer parity? Their memories are archived and air brushed into the public’s consciousness, all of historical value, perhaps not, just passing trans in the night, jump on board for the next batch of glorification chasers as Ester would say “That’s Life”, chase the dream.

The Starship Troopers

The starship troopers (the players) have hit the green blaze to kick off the 2023-24 Premiership season in their quest for glorification, solidification and to add on request the avoidance of relegation. The general consensus is that Manchester City and Arsenal will be the duellists sbar swords at hand for the Premiership crown with Manchester United warming the upper crust’s toast in the third slot. To go beyond the three we have Liverpool, Newcastle United and Aston Villa to trench on the arrowed line between fourth and eighth position on fluctuation, to suggest that the Magpies will be affected with their Champions League participation alongside their time wasting tactics to be outlawed in the Premiership. The other two big hitters by name with Chelsea’s season ahead shrouded in question marks alongside the North London whites Tottenham to remove the wet wipes tag under the new manager, Ange Postecoglou, link to article dated 3rd August ‘The Aussie has landed’ at best a seventh to tenth placed finish for the two Londoners.

Into the mix comes the little big guns of Brighton Fulham and Brentford looking to sustain their higher grade status with Brentford to be the pick. So is it possible for the ‘Bees’ to harmonise into a fourth placed challenge? Suck on that honey beneath the vaulted ten comes Crystal Palace to solidify acting as the wedge but to not dismiss the talent of the Palace, upwards possible? The reflections in the murky waters lie below, relegation. Westham United to head the rest of the pack with Everton the escape artists looking to avoid dipping the Houdini rope into those murky waters. The crazed Nottingham Forest on player influx alongside Wolves on player outflux with the loss of their manager Julen Lopetegui will impact. Looking to cherry pick their way clear comes Bournemouth, with the former manager Gary O’Neil replacing Lopetegui at Wolves. The Prem’s cannon fodder has to be newly promoted Sheffield United and Luton Town with last season’s Championship champions Burnley tipped to escape the drop. To the DM readers, enjoy the season.

Kane Departs

Harry Kane’s reported 100 million pound transfer to Bayern Munich is richly deserved. The Munchen are ranked as the World’s number three club, link to ‘Football’s World Brand’ dated 3rd August 2023. Never give up on your dreams, Harry Kane, link to article dated Sept 1st 2022 ‘The Mystery Caller’. Time for Harry to fill the trophy cabinet and to slay the critics, the supreme leader Harry Kane.

The Accolades

Kane’s accolades, World Cup Golden Boot, breaks Timmy Greaves Tottenham goalscoring record and dislodges Wayne Rooney as England’s record goal scorer, link to article ‘Kane’ March 1st 2023.

Neal Maupay

Everton’s Neal Maupay is constantly harangued by pundits and a section of supporters, time to baton down those hatches in defence of the Frenchman. On ball retention Maupay is technically proficient with a high skillset, a good work rate and physicality, but the Frenchman is played out of position to lead the line as the lone striker, if a forward pass is played either side or over the top, Maupay will be chasing shadows to look ordinary. The fans react and to become the scapegoat for the team’s failings, that’s the line striker role, no support. Calvert-Lewin can play lone striker but is injury prone, hence Maupay being played out of position. To be tucked in behind a number 9 looking for the knockdowns would be a natural position not as an out and out centre forward, that falls on Sean Dyche’s watch, not Neal Maupay’s. It’s time to open minds with the pundits and supporters limited ballpark and hypocrisy beggars belief. Demarai Gray’s occasional roles as the lone wolf highlights the same traits with the general theme quote ‘It’s not Demarai’s position, Maupay is not afforded the same luxury.