The House of Tennis

The A1 Robocop has hit the Wimbledon Blades of grass with electronic line calls replacing Wimbledon’s hard core battalion of 300 line judges at the last count, ending a 147 year tradition, time for the strawberries and cream to settle, much anger on the auto change in many quarters. To have lessened the experience for fans, whatever happened to the human touch, arms outstretched, fingers in tow on those line calls, are we under threat? The big Robocop calling, making those line calls, instant coffee, slurp on the decision making, automated system of course, is it all a money saving racket? 15 – love Robocop, where’s the loyalty to the binned line judges?

Wimbledon generates a 30 million plus pounds tournament profit and rising, where’s Tim Henman, who sits on the committee, blazered up, no defence for the line judges, hey Tim? Time to scrap Henman Hill, always acquainted the hill with Jack and Jill. Onto the name change, Murray’s mound, watch the moles, crazy loon tunes all round. A statue for the helmeted Robocop, no, that spot’s reserved for Andy Murray, sorted, to be challenged, not on the line calls, takes away the intrigue.

The world’s ranked number 3 female tennis player, Jessica Pegula, has turned tennis guru while treading onto another combustible track, with the Pegula suggesting that the men’s single slam tournament matches should be reduced to three sets, not 5 sets to reduce the wear and tear on those weary limbs as well as the mental combat fatigue zone, to offer the lesser lights a higher ratio stat chance of defeating the top elites of the sport, but hey, we need real winners, not the Raducanu’s of the tennis world surfing on a wing and a prayer, those prayers worked, USA 2021 Grand Slam champion and since, bugger all if that ruling came into situ then the world number 2 ranked Carlos Alcaraz could have crashed out of the strawberries and cream Wimbledon on a first round exit, not a good look for the Championships, Alcaraz trailed the Italian locks of the fabbed up, Fabio Fogini by two sets to claw the third set from the depths of defeat for the Spaniard to eclipse even further to take hold of the match in the five set system, now that’s what you call a ‘proper shootout’, a match of attrition, the pain game, to seep through the Wimbledon blades of grass, eat the grass, Djokovic and all that, an increase in the Pimm sales after that match, phew!

Time to impact on the Pegula guru, the Manero to offer seeds of enrichment, is it time for the women’s Slam events to revert to the 5 set slug fest to acquaint with the ladies equal pay to hold court with the BJK (Billie Jean King) think tank, link to article Jan 3^rd 2025 ‘The Manero Callout Billie Jean King New Proposals’, the BJK slapped the Saudi Arabia greens on the table for the ladies of the night (the women’s tour) women’s rights, it’s all out there, let’s not mix politics with sport hey, why not? BJK has, and climbing onto the limelight, space odyssey to the Wells Fargo, all banked, the bank teller handed the receipt out, bloody hypocrite, no swearing now, not on this watch.

Time to track back to the binned lineswomen and men, spare a thought, eighty left on the watch now reduced to accompanying players to the toilets on shit creek hill, those creaking doors, now termed as match assistants to opening tunes of fresh balls, smell the greens? All be it of a lime colour, or is it yellow? Either way you get the drift, right? The newly appraised match assistants are also tasked to appear at the strawberry sponsorship events, creamed, glorified butlers?

A rekindling of another harp on the harper and the Manero lens, it has to be said that the men’s core of players take long time outs, mix and match, pick and choose their tournaments, personal sabbatical agendas, that’s the theory, a refresh on a refresh. So in response to Pegula, the men’s have plenty of spare time for some serious sun dancing. Novak Djokovic as being the case, has lessened his workload to racquet into their tournament preference depending on each tournament’s points on offer to endeavour to hold onto a high ranking, which is the vital cookie on the slams, no crumbling of Novak’s biscuit on that block, crunch.

The former Greek sensation Stefanos Tsitsipas has plummeted from a ranking of world number 3 to drop zone to a 26 ranking. Tippy has taken his eye off the ball, hence the crestfallen. Tsitsipas likes to work the social networks (X), all wired with one’s romance bloomer, the Spanish player Paula Badosa, whose ranking is at number 9. The tennis off courtship seems to be suiting the Badosa game more than Tippy’s, they have had a few separation trials, so it’s not all red wine, roses and a little pink racqueted in. The love doves have taken to short film type takes to push the romance further our way. Tippy is stretching for film takes, Manero style, take a step back, driving around Monaco in a refresher of a sports car stretching for a bono feel failed miserably, stick to the tennis.

The same can be said of the trumpeted Stockport County follower, the Daily Mail’s Oliver Holt, who entered the fray on one’s courtship to harness his whips, with the Holt window take on Emily Raducanu. According to Holt, Raducanu’s 2021 USA Slam trophy single trophy haul quote “Is one of the greatest sporting stories this country (UK) has ever produced” and claiming that it legitimises Raducanu for the rest of time, Manero will make an amendment to that claim. Masses of critics pipe into the system, not to be fooled, Raducanu blazing away on a catalogue of first and second round exits, open the pages it’s all recorded, a four year cycle of hope and nothing. Raducanu’s followers can slay away, constructive criticism, nothing wrong with that, harsh words on occasions, nothing wrong with that, that’s the terrain, ride the camel, don’t get the hump, say cheese and smile, take it on the chin, right.

Holt can punch the stats out all day wrong gauging Raducanu’s slam ticket ride with historical picture frames of other British women previously in the sport, but Raducanu lost the pack four years ago. Sponsorship deals have suffocated her game in the fame game of chasing money, a reduction of those would have been more profitable on the tennis court. Holt states that Raducanu’s talent flickers, the same can be said for many in the same bracket rankings, the money has come before the titles, cream softly a further Holt quote “Whether she ever gets to another final or not she deserves our respect and she deserves our hope”, but has our hope been crushed? Tennis in particular is a sport where the British crave for a superstar, Emily Raducanu has to through the pain game. To set up a driven coaching team to succeed, a sporting careers short, Raducanu does not need to end her career with the process, how far could I have really gone, it’s too late then, the fame game over, game, set and match.

RIP

Condolences to the Jota family, RIP Diogo Jota. A complete footballer and liked by all.