The World Cup 2023. The Oceaunz. The Automated Offsides. Football’s Blue Ribbon. The FA Cup

The World Cup

The Women’s World Cup 2023 in the twinned Australian and New Zealand hosting rights is to enter the latter stages of the tournament (at the time of writing), with the crowning glory being on August 20th, the World Cup final in Sydney. European Champions England will be questioning to lift the most prized of trophies, England’s three group phase matches resulted in two one to nil wins v Haiti and Denmark with a third group match pounding v China six to one, into the last sixteen stage with Nigeria being dispatched four to two on the dreaded penalties following the match result of 0-0. England’s Lauren James was red carded resulting in a two match ban. Progress was continued with a one to nil victory v Columbia at the quarter final stage. The Lionesses have defeated Australia 3 to 1, to reach the World Cup final in Sydney on the 20thAugust, come on England (at the time of writing) link to article dated Oct 4th 2022 ‘The English Women’s League’.

The Oceaunz

The start of the World Cup began with the introduction of the new football on the block named as the Oceaunz. A sensor is inserted inside the ball to track the every movement of the rounded one, data is sent to the video operation room with the position of the ball being tracked, sounds a bit eerie. The purpose of the boffined ball is to improve accuracy, consistency and claims to enhance the aerodynamics, with the ball being energised by rechargeable battery, similar in concept to power linkage for smart phones, does it take phone calls? Ring, ring, match on.

Another football, the Jabulani, was introduced at the FIFA African Cup of Nations World Cup in 2010, which was designed to offer a new grip type groove formulating a better control and claimed to have excellent stability in flight, but the midair flight travel of the ball was criticised, an Elon Musk creation? Crash. The ball has the amazeballs of being classed as the ‘goat’ of all footballs, oh for the crazed. The Jabulani meaning is to celebrate of a Zulu theme, confused? Most balls on the block have a polyurethane skin, perhaps good for cosmetic surgery. The list of the fandangled balls can go on, we have the Brazuca, Teamgeist, the Tricolore and the Azteca, with the German concept being the Fevernova. Phew! Chase them balls, balls all at an affordable price test your skills with FIFA’s golden eggs the footballs.

The Automated Offsides

The automated offside technology of the artificial intelligence was first trialled at the 2022 Qatar Men’s World Cup is having added airtime for the Women’s World Cup. In comparison the Premier League honchos for their sins have decided against introducing the automated offsides technology for the 2023-24 season, much prefer the ranting and raving managers on the touchline contesting VARs dubious decisions.

The Premier League believe that the technology may date too quickly, not squeaky clean, perhaps WD40 could help, a lame duck theory, quack, quack. The PL has decided to add four more cameras to navigate the blind spots, players can on occasions remain as not seen when in an offside position, the Manero termed ‘Football’s Bermuda Triangle’. it’s a mystery, can artificial intelligence be a threat to mankind, to football? The boffins have suspended the fore play on the AI development, too dangerous to tread quickly, time for those metal boots, crunch, are we being invaded, the tracking of one’s limbs R2D2 Star Wars it’s out there, at least the gloves fit.

Football’s Blue Ribbon?

The cheating of the supporters on their admission fees on the delusion od seeing 90 minutes of football is crystallised into actual 55 minutes averaged out each match of ball activity, the ball in play, link to article dated July 30th 2022 ’55 Minutes and Out’. The missing 35 minutes is swallowed in general time wasting, substitutions, injuries and player conflabs prior to taking free kicks, goal celebrations and bookings with the governing bodies endeavouring to clamp down on the missing minutes the goalkeeping union will be hard lined to cut out the caressing of the ball to time waste. On the watch dog is the Aston Villa goalkeeper Emilliano Martinez who drop kicks the ball from outside of the penalty box, take note referees.

The managers will be hit hard if they continue with their barking dogs routine and to stray from one’s lead outside of the technical area will lead to the red card. On dismissal the managers will have to watch the remainder of the match from within the Stadia excluding a seat in the sands away from the match action, prawn sandwiches for ones sins, Roy Keane on delivery.

Player crowding of referees will result in yellow cards all round, book the whole team, why not let’s go crazy. The general consensure is that matches will run into one hundred minutes with the added time, that still leaves a short change of twenty five minutes, any refunds? Pep Guardiola has questioned the precedence of the changes to be sustainable, perhaps Pep could wear the ‘blue ribbon’ in support as opposed to the political Catalaned yellow ribbon. Football’s blue ribbon to offer par excellence?

The FA Cup

The Football Association’s golden stand bearer the FA Cup could be handed to the Premier League to oversee, which would see the FA Cup being diluted into a ghost of its former self. The knock on effect would see the PL selling overseas rights for the FA Cup, a dismantling of the Cup’s 152 year old historical value. Radical changes will be made to cater for the Premier League schedule with the FA having previous with an aborted exit on trying to forge a deal to sell Wembley Stadium, link to article dated June 22nd The Crown Jewels.

The PL’s hitlist will be extensive with the Cup’s replays to be scrapped and the early rounds being played midweek. The FA Cup Final will be removed from the show piece of the season to be sandwiched in between the PL fixtures. The expansion of the Champions League is squeezing the calendar to a pulp. UEFA have been indirectly sounding out the process of stripping the League Cup (the current Carabao Cup) from the English calendar, money being the root of the evil forces at play as the common denominator for the badged up devil money worshippers.

For the Record

England’s second domestic sup (the Carabao Cup) is attracting record crowds with a forty five percent increase on attendances, take note UEFA.