The Chelsea Blitz. Fancy a Hot Dog? Handbags at the Ready. Manchester United. The Magnificent Seven. City Specsavers

The Chelsea Blitz

The New Year transfer window wafted in the Chelsea blitz, with the Londoners splurging 323 million pounds paying inflated fees. There’s no guarantee that players reach the required level, a risky gamble? Mental strength is just as vital as one’s physical presence and skill set. The club’s owner Todd Boehly believes by spending top dollar that Chelsea will become the rulers.

Boehly has signed players on five to seven year contracts to dodge the financial fair play rules which stretches the players valve on a yearly basis times the length of the player’s contract, in layman’s terms a 100 million pound player on a 5 year contract will be termed as 20 million pound a year fee entered on the club’s financial sheets with 80 million to be entered yearly over the next four years which goes under the FFP financial perimeter set, the loophole is created because of the length of the contracts. The normal two to three year contracts offered to clubs would come under the FFP watch dog, will the dog come back to bite the Chelsea, Chelsea.

Into highlight mode, problems could occur later down the line with players not cutting the mustard and trying to shift them out of the club due to the excessive wages and contracts becomes mission impossible, the monster that could come to haunt the club, the green one eyed imposter. So have Chelsea tied themselves in knots, it would take Houdini to sort that lot out if the shit hits the Chelsea fan, round and round, splat.

UEFA Respond

The new UEFA rules form next season will round ball all clubs’ spends on players, wages and agents fees to not exceed 90 percent of clubs’ income.

The Mindset Contracts

Players on outlandish contracts could adopt the attitude, if my performances are not good enough, I will still get paid, happy days, players on long contracts can shy away from the work ethic, loose the motivation, the desire, the inner belief, that’s the devil that lurks, Gareth Bale and Paul Pogba are two high profile mindset contract payers, it happens.

Fancy a Hot Dog?

Fancy a hot dog? Switch into menu mode at a selected band of football clubs food menu standards, enter the sensory emulator, the taster, the findings a different type of hot dog seemed to be the order of the watch dog, from the long to the short, to the h dog with no inners of the long dong variety, a hole in one? Not quite but the sausage had gone ballistic. The accompanying partner in tow came with the onions having foreplay with the look of leaches, do they move? For that extra top up treat yourself to the shrivelled up bacon fresh from the counter, but not cooked.

The burger heads at the football stalls came with one burger being so frazzled it had contorted into the face of a Pitbull, it’s not bull dog meat? Surely not, have an extra treat, slap your cheese on with a dollop of sauce, Heinz of course. If on a dodgy food runner stick to the mushy peas, they clear the system out, burp. Onto the burnt to a cinder burger, or is it a black pudding? As long as we don’t find a pair of nashers in one’s food, then some of the drivel served up is edible, why worry about soggy chips. Time to name the dodgy food runners, Wembley Stadium, Manchester United, Westham, Leyton Orient, Stevenage, Halifax FC, Barnsley, even Frome Town FC hit the radar, sort it out, it’s time to add a few stars of the Michelin standard, two stars will suffice , job done.

Handbags at the Ready

Everton’s Dominic Calvert-Lewin’s continued prolonged injuries absence has led to a full on Sean Dyce investigation titled “The persistent injuries syndrome” suitcase in hand, to be targeted, quote Dyce “What mattress does he use, how is the sleep pattern, what car does he drive”. The add-ons Manero, how many times does he let the cat out, diet, nutrition checks, too many burgers maybe.

Dominic’s a follower of fashion, link to article ‘Oh Fashion’ Feb 2021. Perhaps the handbags are too heavy or are the skirts letting in too much draft, not good for the hamstrings or tripping over one’s heels could be the head turner, crash. Time for the Columbo report, to be revealed, ready to play?

Manchester United

Congratulations to Manchester United on winning the Carabao Cup (The League Cup), the club’s first trophy in six years. The competition became vitally important for United with Newcastle United chasing their first trophy for 69 years. The League Cup has been lampooned by media and pundits, they are wrong, of note, link to article ‘Peps Gripe’ Feb 2020.

The Magnificent Seven

Football results can have a quick turnaround as Manchester United experienced bowing to the Liver Birds feet on the backside of a seven to nil spanking v Liverpool, the Magnificent Seven. Ten days earlier Liverpool gave a tepid performance v Crystal Palace, no goals registered and strained to defeat the Wolverhampton Wanderers two to nil before the United encounter, so did we see the smashing of United coming? No that’s the smoke and mirrors of football, a sequence of results can be deceiving.

United’s performance could be inserted into a coaching DVD format for aspiring young footballers to watch the do not’s of football, to learn from United’s meltdown. The team’s lack of self-motivation came with a low work rate to chase down Liverpool’s movement. The United players attitude stank the place out, no belief, to surrender, a betrayal. The body language was the indicator of not wanting to be there, the fear factor ruled. You cannot take your finger off football’s pulse for one second with the need to have a high work ethic particularly when without ball retention is vital, to not let petulance overcome one’s emotions, to craft outside of the comfort zone, United’s capitulation ranks as one of the worst performances in top level sport.

Specsavers City

Manchester City’s Kyle Walker has a need to go off the rails on occasions with Walker railroading into a Manchester club allegedly exposing oneself while intoxicated, Walker has previous on invite, two escorts during Covid to the KW abode. Where was Walker’s partner on that occasion, not this time, to be seen, thinking of the greens as the deciding factor, there’s no oil painting to look at that’s for sure. The City club statement “It’s a private matter”, I am sure it is, to remain in panty time, the Manchester City tarnished image, no Teflon sticks, add the Specsavers.

Radio TalkSport joined the fray with Danny Murphy quote “How did it get out there”, cameras everywhere Danny, Big Brother is watching you on the shoulder, scratch the itch. TalkSport’s head honcho Simon Jordan made claim that this does not affect City’s reputation, blather, blather on the Simon said with the need for the player to be questioned “What is wrong with you”, but Walker is two stools short of a foot stool, plob. Daffy Duck Pep gave Walker a five minute game time v Crystal Palace to confirm the club’s support on his return, elastic bands at hand, pants on, Specsavers City.